Lack of self-confidence, shyness, taboos…there are many doors in the mind that are still closed and that prevent us from accessing a fulfilled sexuality; here are twelve tips to follow, to make the bed a real theatre of dreams.
1/ We assume our (so-called) big butt
Question? What is the first obstacle to pleasure? Answer: ourselves and the way we look at ourselves (our buttocks, our thighs, our belly…). And there, you don’t need to have a DEA in sexology to understand that focusing on a complex is seriously detrimental to letting go and therefore to pleasure. To free yourself from this pressure of physical perfection, you can repeat to yourself that, in real life, a perfect body does not exist, so you might as well make do with the one you have. We could also say that the best way to forget our complexes is to make love… in the dark. Maybe. Clearly, there is no point in trying to hide cellulite or dimples during our lovemaking because in the heat of the moment no one sees them and no one cares.
2/ We raise the desire
It’s up to each person to find the scenario that suits them, but it’s easy to imagine a man asking his partner to undress while continuing the activity she was doing, like working for example. This progressive striptease can last 5 minutes or an hour, but this is what will make the bodies hungry! In another possible scenario, the man takes the woman into the bedroom, he turns off the light but does not touch her… He talks and undresses in front of her. All this illustrate the art of making desire rise and not trample it. “
3/ We do not run after the orgasm
Women are now subjected to performance anxiety in sex. By dint of hearing that we MUST cum and have orgasms in a row, what was a possibility has become a duty, with an obligation of result. Worse, many want to look so liberated in bed that they (over)play the X Wonderwomen, for fear of being classified as stuck or bad. A hell of a pressure, which pushes to “cheat” and denies any deep desire. Stoop. So we go at our own pace. And we take pleasure where it is. No orgasm? OK, but what delicious sensations all the same!
4/ We play it alone
without selfishness, no pleasure! “The woman must concentrate on the sensations she has, without wondering if it is also good for her partner. This obviously implies that the man is also focused on his own pleasure… and therefore forgets his own pleasure, the time he “takes care” of her. “This is the kind of track we love… But we’re not just personal either… Afterwards, it’s up to him. Yes, for more fun, it’s each one’s turn.
5/ The penis is valued…
The man’s sex is often demonized. It is often presented as a scary organ, to be distrusted. It is not valued in our cultures. The result is that we have simply not been taught to desire the male body and women’s imagination is often poor about the penis. There is a real lack and it is up to women to fill it! “But how do we do it? “We paint it, we draw it, we photograph it… It is in fact a question of making the body of her partner exist. To eroticize it and to see the sex of the man for what it is: an object of desire. To the women to look at the sex of the man and to value it. “Come on, let’s go, tonight when we get home we shoot Raoul’s sex from every angle.
6/ We don’t ask ourselves if we are normal!
“Am I coming enough? “I don’t always have an orgasm, is that normal? “Even when it’s good, we set off the gambling machine by trying to believe that something else – necessarily better – is surely possible. “Sexual technique is so overvalued that the “doing” takes precedence over the “being”. However, it is more important to rediscover the qualitative aspect of the relationship, its sensations and emotions, because these are what count, more than a protocol…”. It is, therefore, unnecessary to note one’s orgasms on a Richter scale, but rather to let oneself go towards the emotional.
8/ We auto-eroticize ourselves
“To become aware of your body and put it in a state of desire, make the difference between a day when you are dressed normally and another when you wear sexy lingerie. You are alone to know, at the office for example, and your secret thoughts will put you in a condition of excitement… You will not be in the same “state” when you get home at night. “
9/ Raoul is taken into confidence
Everyone agrees that pleasure comes from subtle and delicate caresses. Where it gets complicated is that a man does not necessarily have a “natural” tendency to measure this degree of delicacy. To put it plainly, he often goes about it like a stick and his caresses are as light as a field hockey stick. So, only one solution, tell him what you like and show him the way. A little bit like a cross-section of an anatomy manual at the beginning… But then, you have everything to gain.
10/ We fantasize a lot
Mental imagery participates fully and physiologically – through nervous stimuli – in the intensification of arousal, which will condition pleasure. Let’s, therefore, rehabilitate without embarrassment (all) fantasies, even violent, shameful, extreme or inappropriate ones. “They are only phantasmatic contents, like dreams, without impact on acts. Let’s play with them, without taking them seriously. “
If you haven’t already done so, you can get your adventurous side out and do some shady stuff in the back row of a movie theatre – in the afternoon, there are fewer people – or in the bathroom of a restaurant or in the lift shaft of a hotel. A classic, yes, but there’s nothing more pleasurable than the combination of sex and adrenaline!
For those who know the Kama Sutra by heart and are used to improvising wild parties under the quilt
12. Reality film
We go to the video store to rent an erotic film with the firm intention of not watching it until the end. The game: every time a man starts kissing a woman, our lover has to remove a piece of clothing. In the opposite case, we have to take something off. And the first one to get naked gets the privilege to ask for the sexual favour of his choice.
13. Gourmet games
As soon as we get home from work, we dim the lights, take everything off and spend the evening dressed like Adam and Eve. When it’s time to eat, why not use our bodies as plates? We plan the menu accordingly, of course! We can also have fun re-enacting the famous scene from the film 9 1/2 weeks by sitting in front of the fridge door. If all goes well, the chances of us making it to dessert are pretty slim!
14. Yoga in love
We’ve all heard about Tantrism, the miracle technique from Hindu yoga that allows us to make our sexual experience last longer and longer. By learning to come without muscle contractions, it seems that you can reach unsuspected heights of pleasure