Whether at work or in private, sooner or later we are all confronted with hypocritical people. If these people were outright hypocrites, it would be easy to find them out and get away from them! The problem is that these people know how to act, sometimes to the point of convincing themselves that their actions are sincere, when in fact they are not. Hypocrites can be dangerous because their intentions are not good, and if you don’t see this quickly, you may pay the price!
. 1. Measure the Importance of the Intentions of the People Around You
Not everyone around us means well. Sometimes, because we treat everyone with respect and kindness, we think that no one can wish us ill, but this is not true! Everyone has their own doubts and insecurities, and sometimes you can be the target of someone’s frustrations without ever having done anything to them. Knowing how to recognise people who mean well from those whose intentions are unclear is essential. You can then determine the level of trust and confidence you will have with each other and adjust your attitude to protect yourself
2. Listen to Your Intuition: It Wakes Up in Their Presence
Intuition is your first guide when it comes to unmasking a hypocrite. Not all of us are comfortable with this concept, but each of us has an intuition that knows how to express itself. It’s that little voice that tells you that something is wrong, that you don’t feel that person. We tend to stifle this voice because we don’t want to judge people at a glance! We find excuses and extenuating circumstances. Yet, how many times have you said to yourself afterwards “I knew it! ” . To avoid this, at the first sign of discomfort, beware! Here’s what you can look out for:
You feel that you are missing something about this person
Despite their best efforts, you don’t feel they are being true to you
You don’t know why, but you can’t seem to be yourself around them
3. Watch Their Words: They Are Often Revealing!
Hypocritical people are often hypocritical with everyone. They will try to make you believe that they are on your side and have your best interests in mind… By putting down other people to whom they give big smiles! Of course, depending on the circumstances, we are sometimes forced to be polite to people we don’t like! However, hypocritical people will not only be polite. You will see them being warm and enthusiastic with people they speak ill of in private. One thing is certain: if they are so good at hiding what they seem to think of someone in order to shower them with praise… they can do the same to you! There is no guarantee that they are not also criticising you behind your back. And you may never know! In general, beware of people who take pleasure in gratuitously putting down other people. Whether they are hypocrites or not, it never bodes well!
4. Observe their attitude: They put themselves forward too much
Hypocritical people have this annoying tendency to seek attention. This is convenient for us, because it is another way of exposing them! They do this because by being in character and overacting, it allows them to avoid showing who they really are. This is a testament to their desire to stay in control of the situation. By overdoing it, they are trying to force appreciation. You will then see them completely exaggerating their affection for the people around them in a blatant and sometimes even completely embarrassing way! They will also always be the first, if something happens to you, to want to know as much as possible, to the point of crushing any real form of empathy… Because they have their own interests at heart, far before yours!
5. Don't Let Your Guard Down: They Turn Over Their Boots at the Drop of a Hat
Above all, the real problem with hypocrites, beyond the fact that their affection for you is insincere, is that they are unreliable. A person who doesn’t really like you, but wants you to believe otherwise, is only doing so because they have an interest in you liking them. This interest is usually only circumstantial. To give you an example, if everyone in a group likes you, the hypocrite can’t be the only one who doesn’t like you! And he or she will have everything to gain from you liking him or her if he or she wants to continue to be well regarded in the group. On the other hand, if the wind changes, you’ll see that she’ll be the first to let off steam on your behalf! Before this happens, you can observe this situation with other people. Above all, this will allow you not to be fooled by the big smiles and compliments!
Whatever happens, don’t waste your energy and time trying to get something real from a hypocrite. Honesty is not in their values! You will end up confronting someone who simply does not speak the same language as you!
7 tips for dealing with hypocrites
1- Be careful what we say
Hypocrites should not have access to our confidences and secrets. We choose what we share with them, so we don’t give them ammunition against us.
2- Distancing yourself from hypocrites
First of all, it would be good to be able to avoid hanging around them. So a physical distance would be a good solution to avoid them. But if this is not possible because we are in daily contact with them, we find ways to reduce the amount of contact and create a barrier for ourselves mentally. Above all, we don’t want to fall into the pattern of hypocritical people. We tell ourselves that we will not become like them.
3- Find an inner mantra
Hypocrites are not always avoidable. For example, we find them among our office colleagues, neighbours and acquaintances we meet at the children’s school. So we come up against their condescending air all too often. To make ourselves less affected, we find a soothing mantra to repeat to ourselves when they start their harmful babble.
4- Stop trying to please them
We don’t have to feel guilty or bad about being who we are, even if not everyone likes it. If we are good in our lives, we shouldn’t worry about hypocritical people. They often suffer from a terrible lack of self-esteem and are totally insecure. We shouldn’t let their bad vibes get to us.
5- Don’t lose your cool
Getting us off our backs is what hypocritical people are looking for, to test the effect of their pettiness on us. We don’t give them that opportunity. Oh no, we don’t!
6- Getting respect
What if we confronted these toxic people? We respond to them by making things clear. This tactic can be very destabilising, but you must also be prepared to face the consequences that will come. But we will have been honest, which is commendable.
7- Use humour
Very often, hypocritical people are extremely rigid. By using humour to de-dramatise a situation or to destabilise them momentarily, we can feel better while stopping the spiral of their harmful behaviour towards us.